Baby Care - 1

When my first baby boy was born, like many other moms, I read a ton of books, got wanted and unwanted advice from family and friends. At that time I was also big into keeping notes on my babies growth. So as a natural byproduct for me, I started to keep notes on things I found useful from various books, websites, friends, and family. The places are too numerous to list, and this was 10 years ago, so I couldn't even track down references if I wanted to.

I found my own notes useful when my second baby boy came. Its amazing how much I had to read through them again and again. I have also passed these notes around to friends who have told me it was quite useful to them. I know of at least one friend to forwarded it to her friend. For all I know, this stuff is now randomly floating around in cyberspace going from new mom to new mom. If so, I am so happy for them if they find any of it useful.

Enough of about this and now to my notes...

Cloth Diapers
I used them with my first baby D1 the first 2 months but not with my next baby D2. D1 was so sensitive to the cloth diapers that he would wake up every time he was wet (other babies I know just sleep right through), so little D1 did not get to sleep well for the first 2 months. I guess he just did not like that damp feeling. Not that I blame him. As soon as I switched to disposables, he started sleeping better. It might have been great for toilet training, because D1 was already starting to cry before he peed even at 2 months. But since he was going to be in daycare all day, and in the Us people don't believe in toilet training kids this early, there was no point in pursuing it. But maybe if I was a stay at home mom. Don't believe all those myths about toilet training can't happen till they are 3 years old. I have seen 6 or 7 month old babies in India, who cry and then when taken to the bathroom do their business there. No diapers nothing. Do accidents happen, you bet. But think about how many diapers and landfills you save.

Wipes
With both my boys I used large cotton rounds (the kind you use for make up etc), with warm water for the first few weeks. No commercial wipes for at least 2 months. Their skins are so sensitive that even the no alcohol, no scent etc version causes rashes. It did for both my babies.
Changing diapers - Just change the baby every time she wakes. Dont worry if she poops and then promptly falls asleep. If you are nursing, her poop will not cause a rash and when they are this little the sleep is more important than changing the diaper.

Crying Baby
Babies may cry because they are hungry, have to burp, need to poop (this is an ordeal for some reason), need to sleep (they need to soothe themselves like this for some reason). If you pay attention and take a few moments to figure out what they need when they cry, you will soon be able to figure out the differences in their cries. They are actually different for hunger, sleep, burp, poop. Its their own special language. Ask any mom who's babies have outgrown that stage, they can read those signs just fine in other babies, even if they were too emotionally close to do it for their own, like me.

Talk to Your Baby
Talk to the baby about everything related to them in a normal voice and avoid nonsense words or mangling them. Especially things you are going to do to them or when they are around. Like if you are going to turn the tap on, and she is in the room or you are holding her, let her know in words that you are going to turn the tap on. D1 used to cry at sudden sounds, but when I talked to him about it, he was calm, but if I forgot to tell him he still cried. This will serve you well as they grow up. For eg., always tell the baby when you are leaving them and will be back after whatever task is done, or time or whatever. Just remind them you will return. When they are real little they don’t react to this much, because they don’t really understand it. That's the best time to start, because they start getting used to hearing it. But soon enough they will understand your words and still cry because they don’t want to be separated. But what this will teach them very early in life is that you will come back to them. Don’t forget to add this, I am leaving, but I will be back before your nap or after your nap or whatever and Daddy, friend whoever will take care of you. They need to learn that you will return, and they will not learn this if you try to sneak out on them everytime and when they turn around looking for you, you have disappeared on them. Imagine how scary that must be for them. They need to trust you and feel comforted in knowing you will return to them. And they do learn this. It is very reassuring for parent and kid when this happens. Trust me, this happens a lot earlier when you talk to them about it, but a lot later when you don’t. I am not saying this will mean no tears when daycare/preschool/kindergarten will start. But they will be more confident in their trust in you.

You don't believe me? When my D1 was less than 2 months old and I changed his diapers, I would say, I am going to change your diaper, I am going to open the snaps followed by the action etc. When I lifted his legs I would say, up, up up. When both my boys were only 4 or 5 weeks old, they started trying to lift their legs for the diaper change when they heard the words up, up, up. Before I even held their feet to lift them up. It was adorable, they were trying so hard to help me (even when they are that little).


Burps
I was lucky, my boys were not big burpers, so I pretty much only burped them when the whole meal was done. After you figure out how your baby responds, burp her a lot or a little. Like between breast changes or before the whole bottle is done or every 5 minutes. If they have a huge burp stuck, they can't eat any more, they squirm a lot, and they can't fall asleep. What's worse (at least as a mom, although I think it doesn't harm them), is to see this big burp get released and out comes this gush of milk from their mouth, and you think oh no, they are losing their milk. But it is only a small part of what they have eaten.

Warmth
You know lot of books and nurses will tell you babies need to be at temperatures like we find comfortable. What I have realized is that yes, you can keep the house temperature comfortable for you, but make sure the baby has another extra layer on. It may not be for warmth, but they sure like the snugness of being cuddled in.

Which leads me to the next thing, when you bring the baby home from the hospital, receiving blankets are great. But don't go out and buy a ton of them, because after just a couple of weeks, they grow so much, they cant fit into them and whats more, they don't like them any more (at least mine didn't). Although they both loved it the first week.

When D1 was born, he was so skinny, he had almost no baby fat on him. For the few couple of days, he was using all his energy just to stay alive and was gaining no weight. I called a nurse, and she asked me to get him naked and place him on my naked belly so his body doesn't need to worry about producing warmth and can now use his food to gain weight. After just a few days, we were out of the woods.

Milk Supply
I decided to nurse, and I struggled with D1, but with D2 it has been a breeze. Was it because I had a better lactation consultant who stayed with me when D2 was born and took the time to get things started right. She told me the first two days are critical on how things progress. But I didn't get that the first time around. And apparently I was not Mother Earth material where things just fell into place regarding nursing. In retrospect I think, I shouldn't have put such a big stresser on me to nurse. I should have tried a mixture of nursing and bottle feeding, or when things were just not going too well for me, turn to bottle feeding. Having said that, during their regular check ups they were progressing just fine along the growth chart, so I guess, even if you feel things are not going well, they might be.

Make sure to drink a glass of something cool every time you nurse, and try to fit in another glass of water in between nursings too. You will find you need to use the bathroom a lot too. Make it part of your ritual. Trust me if you do the same thing every time, the baby will stay calm. When D2 was hungry, I would say to him, ok, I need to use the bathroom and get a glass of water and he waited for me and his crying had stopped. If I did get delayed for something else along the way then he got mad and let me know he had waited long enough.

I can't stress this often enough, so long as you do the same thing every time they will wait. D1 used to wake up so early in the morning, I just felt I had to wash my face and brush my teeth before I could deal with him. So every morning when he woke up crying, I would say, I need to wash my face etc, and you know what? he waited the full 10 minutes it took me without crying, waiting to be feed. I did this every morning, he heard me talking and the noise from the tap etc and he waited. Every morning, same thing. Babies love routine, same thing, same thing. This is sometimes hard on us, because after a while all the feedings, diaper changes seem to merge together and you cant remember, did I nurse on the left or the right. It seems you nursed and nursed. You feel brain dead, because you may been doing so many more multitasking, brain stimulating activities before baby. But they love it.

I called the lactation hotline tons of times with D1 and the first few weeks with D2 too. So if your hospital/clinic has one use it. If not there is always, La Leche League. They are a nation wide organization. Look them up in your area. Trust me it helps so much.